Our Problem Is Not AIG or Citigroup; It’s Mattel
News of the Weird Daily
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The economy's fine in West Virginia
If it weren't, would state Delegate Jeff Eldridge have the optimism to introduce a bill to ban sales of Mattel's Barbie and similar dolls (on the ground that they contribute to making girls turn out different than Eldridge would like to see them turn out)? [Ed.: Besides, what's an intellectually barren girl who's was born aesthetically pleasing supposed to do, anyway? Get fat (like in Mauritania, See Below)? Smash herself in the face with a crowbar?] Associated Press via WSAZ-TV (Huntington, W.Va.)
Comments 'westvirginia_barbie'
To serve and protect and exorcise
Paper-pushing NYPD Lt. Dominic Maglione wants his gun and shield back and has sued, claiming that his mental health is fine despite incidents a couple of years ago in which he was praying for 10 hours straight and once saw a demon in the stationhouse. (Also, the "10 hours straight" meant that he peed on himself because he couldn't tear himself away to go to the john.) Associated Press via Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Comments 'paperpushing_cop'
Recurring themes
(1) It's still, after all these years, cool in Mauritania for adolescent girls to be fattened up so that they'll be round and thus appear older, in order to be desirable marriage candidates. (2) The quaint developing-world protest against gov't by sewing one's lips together has struck again, as a water company worker in Mexico, dissatisfied with his lack of promotion, has stitched his mouth closed. (3) And this one is headed for the No Longer Weird list . . . the stupid calls to 911, such as this episode last week in Fort Pierce, Fla., in which Ms. Latreasa Goodman, 27, insisted three times that cops should rush right over because McD's claimed to be out of McNuggets and only wanted to substitute a McDouble rather than refund her money. "[M]y McNuggets are an emergency." The Guardian (London) /// Associated Press via Yahoo /// TCPalm.com
Comments 'recurring_090304'
More Things to Worry About
Why would the home invader who was unsuccessful at getting the elderly couple to give up their money then grab "two bundles of toilet paper" and run out the door? FirstCoastNews.com (Jacksonville, Fla.)
And why might there be 10 human teeth (one with a filling) inside the pouch of a men's wallet for sale at Wal-Mart? Cape Cod Times
And if witnesses say the road-raged motorist not only scared the pedestrian once but then did a U-ie and drove right at him again, why would the motorist offer the defense that, well, his car has an "alignment" problem that causes it to do U-ies on its own? Metrowest Daily News (Framingham, Mass.)
Comments on Things to Worry About?
Comments 'worry_090304'
Your Daily Loser
Antonio Robledo, 23, went on a brief crime spree in Duluth, Minn., punctuated by two gratuitous phone calls to 911 to inform them of how much smarter he is than the cops chasing him (the second call coming 61 minutes before he was caught). Duluth News Tribune
Comments 'antonio_robledo'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Actually, the two women (ages 20 and 24) were having a sex fling in a car in Pensacola [CORRECTION: Panama City], Fla., so they have that going for them, but, then (as explained by a Pensacola News Herald [CORRECTION: Panama City News Herald] reporter): "Some scenarios law enforcement officers just can't be trained for, such as finding a bag of marijuana produced from the rectal area ['from the rectum'] of a female recently engaged in coitus with another female." Pensacola News Herald
Comments 'pensacola_women' [CORRECTION: Link goes to Panama City News Herald]
Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Gregory Davis, 19, perhaps beat up another guy but perhaps also he's equal-opportunity all the way, having to be Tasered because he was punching himself in the face, too. Gainesville Sun
Comments 'gregory_davis'
Today's Newsrangers: Tom Sullivan, Larry Ellis Reed, Mark Neunder, Tom Barker, Larry Seltzer, Marti Walters
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The economy's fine in West Virginia
If it weren't, would state Delegate Jeff Eldridge have the optimism to introduce a bill to ban sales of Mattel's Barbie and similar dolls (on the ground that they contribute to making girls turn out different than Eldridge would like to see them turn out)? [Ed.: Besides, what's an intellectually barren girl who's was born aesthetically pleasing supposed to do, anyway? Get fat (like in Mauritania, See Below)? Smash herself in the face with a crowbar?] Associated Press via WSAZ-TV (Huntington, W.Va.)
Comments 'westvirginia_barbie'
To serve and protect and exorcise
Paper-pushing NYPD Lt. Dominic Maglione wants his gun and shield back and has sued, claiming that his mental health is fine despite incidents a couple of years ago in which he was praying for 10 hours straight and once saw a demon in the stationhouse. (Also, the "10 hours straight" meant that he peed on himself because he couldn't tear himself away to go to the john.) Associated Press via Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Comments 'paperpushing_cop'
Recurring themes
(1) It's still, after all these years, cool in Mauritania for adolescent girls to be fattened up so that they'll be round and thus appear older, in order to be desirable marriage candidates. (2) The quaint developing-world protest against gov't by sewing one's lips together has struck again, as a water company worker in Mexico, dissatisfied with his lack of promotion, has stitched his mouth closed. (3) And this one is headed for the No Longer Weird list . . . the stupid calls to 911, such as this episode last week in Fort Pierce, Fla., in which Ms. Latreasa Goodman, 27, insisted three times that cops should rush right over because McD's claimed to be out of McNuggets and only wanted to substitute a McDouble rather than refund her money. "[M]y McNuggets are an emergency." The Guardian (London) /// Associated Press via Yahoo /// TCPalm.com
Comments 'recurring_090304'
More Things to Worry About
Why would the home invader who was unsuccessful at getting the elderly couple to give up their money then grab "two bundles of toilet paper" and run out the door? FirstCoastNews.com (Jacksonville, Fla.)
And why might there be 10 human teeth (one with a filling) inside the pouch of a men's wallet for sale at Wal-Mart? Cape Cod Times
And if witnesses say the road-raged motorist not only scared the pedestrian once but then did a U-ie and drove right at him again, why would the motorist offer the defense that, well, his car has an "alignment" problem that causes it to do U-ies on its own? Metrowest Daily News (Framingham, Mass.)
Comments on Things to Worry About?
Comments 'worry_090304'
Your Daily Loser
Antonio Robledo, 23, went on a brief crime spree in Duluth, Minn., punctuated by two gratuitous phone calls to 911 to inform them of how much smarter he is than the cops chasing him (the second call coming 61 minutes before he was caught). Duluth News Tribune
Comments 'antonio_robledo'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Actually, the two women (ages 20 and 24) were having a sex fling in a car in Pensacola [CORRECTION: Panama City], Fla., so they have that going for them, but, then (as explained by a Pensacola News Herald [CORRECTION: Panama City News Herald] reporter): "Some scenarios law enforcement officers just can't be trained for, such as finding a bag of marijuana produced from the rectal area ['from the rectum'] of a female recently engaged in coitus with another female." Pensacola News Herald
Comments 'pensacola_women' [CORRECTION: Link goes to Panama City News Herald]
Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Gregory Davis, 19, perhaps beat up another guy but perhaps also he's equal-opportunity all the way, having to be Tasered because he was punching himself in the face, too. Gainesville Sun
Comments 'gregory_davis'
Today's Newsrangers: Tom Sullivan, Larry Ellis Reed, Mark Neunder, Tom Barker, Larry Seltzer, Marti Walters
Comments
Commenting is not available in this channel entry.
Category: