Predators, Nurturers, Consumables
and the Morning Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Do we consider the Simpsons "persons"?
(a) Of course not; they have four digits on their hands, and they never age. (b) Of course they are because we experience their adventures as real-life proxies. An Australian judge just decided (b), which means (unauthorized) drawings of Bart, Lisa, and Maggie nekkid and fooling around constitute child pornography (and not just trademark and copyright violations). New York Times
Comments 'simpsons_porno'
Inoffensive "sex offenders" taking a stand in Texas
Speaking of hysteria over child-sex abuse, states have also failed to distinguish "sexual predators" (whom everyone wants off the streets) from other sex offenders who may be guilty only of having consensual, romantic sex with an underage girlfriend (which a smaller number of Americans regard as horrible). A Texas organization is collecting unfairest-case "victims" to lobby the legislature, including the happily-married mother of three who was a shade south of legal when she first had sex with her future husband. San Antonio Express-News
Comments 'predators_offenders'
Can't Possibly Be True: South African teenagers are toking HIV antiviral drugs
Well, they might cut them with marijuana or painkillers, but they're clearly a big part of the mix, at the expense of HIV patients trying to stave off AIDS. (Of course, only until recently has the gov't of South Africa officially adopted the HIV-AIDS connection so prolly a lot of kids still devalue the antivirals as anything except recreational.) BBC News
Comments 'smoking_antivirals'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Imran Hussain, 32, is another one of our spectacularly poor multitaskers, but with consequences: DUI and DWM (while masturbating), and causing a crash fatal to two men. ("The court heard that Hussain's erect [clinton] was exposed when motorists came to his aid after the crash.") BBC News
Comments 'imran_hussain'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Could be that William Pursley Jr. and his wife Kimberly were just being loving, hands-on parents to his young daughter. Or that they were doing bad things to her. Hard to tell. Your call. Abilene Reporter News
Comments 'william_pursley'
More Things to Worry About on Tuesday
When an almost-too-good-to-be-true Boston cop was observed by colleagues buying a truckload of Christmas toys for kids, they regarded her as delusional, paid her a home visit, and when she wasn't there (she was out shopping again) surrounded the place in a kinda-suicide-prevention standoff. (Seriously) Boston Herald
A New York City Jew filed a libel lawsuit against a Jewish research center that had accused him publicly (falsely) of possessing an intact organ (which would of course be a terrible thing for him). New York Daily News
Sydney Teerhuis is on trial for murder in Winnipeg, pulling the old "blackout" defense (stabbed him 68 times, but he doesn't remember), but the backstory is his history of wanting to be killed, himself, and eaten (with bones stored under his killer's bed). Vancouver Sun
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Tuesday?
Comments 'worry_081209'
Do we consider the Simpsons "persons"?
(a) Of course not; they have four digits on their hands, and they never age. (b) Of course they are because we experience their adventures as real-life proxies. An Australian judge just decided (b), which means (unauthorized) drawings of Bart, Lisa, and Maggie nekkid and fooling around constitute child pornography (and not just trademark and copyright violations). New York Times
Comments 'simpsons_porno'
Inoffensive "sex offenders" taking a stand in Texas
Speaking of hysteria over child-sex abuse, states have also failed to distinguish "sexual predators" (whom everyone wants off the streets) from other sex offenders who may be guilty only of having consensual, romantic sex with an underage girlfriend (which a smaller number of Americans regard as horrible). A Texas organization is collecting unfairest-case "victims" to lobby the legislature, including the happily-married mother of three who was a shade south of legal when she first had sex with her future husband. San Antonio Express-News
Comments 'predators_offenders'
Can't Possibly Be True: South African teenagers are toking HIV antiviral drugs
Well, they might cut them with marijuana or painkillers, but they're clearly a big part of the mix, at the expense of HIV patients trying to stave off AIDS. (Of course, only until recently has the gov't of South Africa officially adopted the HIV-AIDS connection so prolly a lot of kids still devalue the antivirals as anything except recreational.) BBC News
Comments 'smoking_antivirals'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Imran Hussain, 32, is another one of our spectacularly poor multitaskers, but with consequences: DUI and DWM (while masturbating), and causing a crash fatal to two men. ("The court heard that Hussain's erect [clinton] was exposed when motorists came to his aid after the crash.") BBC News
Comments 'imran_hussain'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Could be that William Pursley Jr. and his wife Kimberly were just being loving, hands-on parents to his young daughter. Or that they were doing bad things to her. Hard to tell. Your call. Abilene Reporter News
Comments 'william_pursley'
More Things to Worry About on Tuesday
When an almost-too-good-to-be-true Boston cop was observed by colleagues buying a truckload of Christmas toys for kids, they regarded her as delusional, paid her a home visit, and when she wasn't there (she was out shopping again) surrounded the place in a kinda-suicide-prevention standoff. (Seriously) Boston Herald
A New York City Jew filed a libel lawsuit against a Jewish research center that had accused him publicly (falsely) of possessing an intact organ (which would of course be a terrible thing for him). New York Daily News
Sydney Teerhuis is on trial for murder in Winnipeg, pulling the old "blackout" defense (stabbed him 68 times, but he doesn't remember), but the backstory is his history of wanting to be killed, himself, and eaten (with bones stored under his killer's bed). Vancouver Sun
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Tuesday?
Comments 'worry_081209'
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