Rampaging Bible Seller

Damn! I knew I wasn't having much success with my door-to-door back in the day and now I know why!

You just have to ax the people nicely. (Yea, that was a bit racist but, hay, so's everything else these days so just enjoy it.)

A fine example of the good lord knockin down the doors to our hearts! oh wait. thats just a maniac.

The extremes people will go to in selling religion. Look buy my religious text and I won't whack you with my axe. One of my lines to high pressure life insurance sales persons is, I'm not worried about it, but if you keep up your calls you might.

Believe what we believe or else ! Because of all of the planets, in all of the Milky Way, among the other millions of galaxies in space we got God right and wrote it down perfect. Hmmmm ... (I do believe there may be a God but thinking she/he is specific to our tiny little world is just crazy).

IN Akron now, no one has an ax anywhere. They would have a gun. Also in all my years in Akron I've ncver had someone come to my door and try to sell something. I did have to call the police on a lady once who wouldn't take no for an answer who was trying to get me to sign up for an Obama phone. But its free, she kept saying. What if you lose your phone. She kept ringing my doorbell and yelling through the door. She tried the door but I locked it. The police didn't arrest her at first, but I think they did when Burger King call them on her.

Ah, a fellow Ohioan/WUvian! Welcome Jimpy!☺

Patty, You don't have to worry now that you are alone Ohio. I would guess there are many quiet WUvian's across the country. Last year in a airport while cruising WU on my laptop a middle aged woman came up and whispered in my ear, Fear not friend, you are not alone. Then before I could recover my composure she disappeared.

Welcome Jimpy, I live in the weirdest state of all, Florida.

G.G.

I don't know, guys, didn't we ban Ohio after we let Patty in? Oh well, welcome Jimpy.

So do random women come close and whisper in your ear everywhere you go honey?? 😉

Well yes Patty,

Often I hear, feed the cats, clean the bird cage, the van is making that strange noise again, Zeus, (a cat) has brought in another animal to show you, take out the trash, the toilet is gurgling again, pick up your stuff, cut the grass, and others. A suggestive whisper is worth a thousand shouts.

G.G.

A solution for you GG.

Back, many a year ago, this certain farmer got himself a mail order bride. When she arrived he hitched up the mule and drove into town to pick her up.

On the way back to the farm the mule decided to stop in the middle of the road and not budge. The farmer got down, faced the mule, hauled off and punched the mule between the eyes and said, "That's one!"

He got back into the wagon and the couple proceeded on their journey until a few more miles down the road the mule stopped again. Once again the farmer got down, punched the mule and this time said, "Mule, that's two!"

The next time the mule stopped they had just turned into the farmhouse lane with just a couple of hundred feet to go. The farmer got down, when around to the front of the mule, drew his gun and !!BAHM!! shot the mule dead. As the smoke cleared the new bride heard the farmer exclaim, "Mule, that was three!"

As the farmer started to unhitch the dead mule from the wagon the wife said, "Husband, why did you shoot the mule? Now we have to....." Where upon the farmer reached over, slapped her upside the head and said, "Wife, that's one!"

I had a couple of women knock on the door one day a few months back. They asked if I believed that all prayers are answered. I said that of course they are, but the answer isn't always yes. They gave up right then and there.

Around here if the preacher tried that tactic he'd meet his maker via Mr's Smith and Wesson