The screaming baby in the classroom prank
I don't think this would go over well nowadays. From the Iowa City Press-Citizen - May 12, 1975:
As a pediatrician [Dr. Charles Johnson of the Iowa Medical School faculty] gives a lecture on child development. It’s scheduled for 1 p.m. The students are sleepy, not only because the subject doesn’t send them but because they’ve just finished lunch.
To liven them up Johnson does this:
“I start the lecture by playing a stereo recording from Sesame Street, which awakens about a third of the audience. I briefly outline the two-hour lecture and then, on cue, in comes the first patient... a newborn in a wheeled isolette pushed by a nurse.
“For the pediatrician,” I announce, “this is where it all begins.”
The baby then starts to scream. As it gets louder and louder Johnson becomes more and more annoyed.
At first he rocks the isolette gently, then with more vigor. Finally, in a fit of anger he flings open the glass top, seizes the infant, and throws it out into the audience.
Pandemonium!
“When the hysteria dies down I state: ‘Infants are helpless parasites. They can be and are battered.’
“Most of my other pearls are soon forgotten, but rarely does the student forget the ‘helpless parasite’ flying into the audience. All that’s needed is a straight-faced nurse, a good tape recording of an infant yelling — and a life-size doll.
To liven them up Johnson does this:
“I start the lecture by playing a stereo recording from Sesame Street, which awakens about a third of the audience. I briefly outline the two-hour lecture and then, on cue, in comes the first patient... a newborn in a wheeled isolette pushed by a nurse.
“For the pediatrician,” I announce, “this is where it all begins.”
The baby then starts to scream. As it gets louder and louder Johnson becomes more and more annoyed.
At first he rocks the isolette gently, then with more vigor. Finally, in a fit of anger he flings open the glass top, seizes the infant, and throws it out into the audience.
Pandemonium!
“When the hysteria dies down I state: ‘Infants are helpless parasites. They can be and are battered.’
“Most of my other pearls are soon forgotten, but rarely does the student forget the ‘helpless parasite’ flying into the audience. All that’s needed is a straight-faced nurse, a good tape recording of an infant yelling — and a life-size doll.
Comments
Reminds me of the military instructor with a 1pm class, at the start of class the brick at the back was passed to him and placed under the lectern. The students were warned that the brick would be thrown at sleeping students. This worked fine until one student broke his leg avoiding the fake brick.
Posted by Old_person0293 on 03/07/20 at 06:47 AM
When I was in undergraduate college in the early 80's, studying animal science preparatory to attending Veterinary School at the University of Missouri, we had a lecture and demonstration on semen collection in the horse. Now, this particular class was an introductory animal science class and considered an 'easy' course. Subsequently it was taken by numerous sorority girls looking for an 'easy A', resplendent in their fuzzy pink monogrammed sweaters and with bows in their hair (and very little else in their heads; at least that was the case for these girls). After our instructor/demonstrator, who was a crusty old cowboy, had finished collecting the stallion he sat the plastic jar of "semen" on the top of a stool and proceeded to let everyone know that "while book larnin' was a great thaing, thet book could jest as easily get yez kill't. Y'gotta watch yer surroundin's when yer 'round animals like that 'cause they're unpredictable." About the time he said the word unpredictable the stallion kicked out with its hind leg and sent the plastic jar of 'semen' flying into the seats, specifically all over the bowheads. I do not believe he actually showered them with horse semen, but changed it out with water. However he did it, it certainly woke everyone up and caused a lot of laughs. The girls, in subsequent lectures, moved to the back of the auditorium...
Posted by Michael Nash on 03/07/20 at 09:16 AM
My college had Saturday AM classes, which I couldn't avoid one time. Mine was organic chemistry, and I had done some partying the night before. Professor walks in and just starts writing equations on the board. Near the end, he says "So this is the way to synthesize trans-delta9-tetrahydrocannabinol," and he gives details. (This is the active version of THC.) All of us are now awake and scribbling furiously in our notebooks, as the professor erases the board and faces us with a huge grin.
Posted by Virtual in Carnate on 03/07/20 at 12:20 PM
I got to thinking about the "Miracle of Birth" section in "The Meaning Of Life."
Posted by KDP on 03/07/20 at 06:32 PM
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Category: Babies | 1970s | Universities, Colleges, Private Schools and Academia | Pranks