Singing Underwear, a Self-Bagging Woman
and the Morning Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Thursday, December 18, 2008 [and as things stand now, there will be an Afternoon Edition today, but maybe not]
Cutting-edge Middle Eastern technology: sexy Syrian lingerie
Bras and panties are available with tiny chips that play music, or light up, or glow in the dark, and there's a nasty version of The Clapper, where a loud noise close by causes the bra straps to release and fall off. And it's all kosher, so to speak, with Islam as long as the practitioners are married to each other. BBC News
Comments 'syrian_lingerie'
A fine point of Oregon law, in fact, a microscopically fine point
It's such a fine point, you won't be able to see it with the naked eye. Prosecutors charged a 17-yr-old boy for having sex with his 14-yr-old girlfriend, but the grand jury rejected it. Not to worry, though, because the prosecutor went ahead as if they had indicted. Then the grand jury foreman read about this in the newspaper and went public, causing the charges to be dropped . . and refiled as different charges . . which sounds like it's unconstitutional double jeopardy . . but the Oregon Supreme Court accepted the argument that since the original court never had jurisdiction over the case, it wasn't double jeopardy . . even though the reason there was no jurisdiction was that . . there was no legal indictment in the first place. Seriously. Register-Guard (Eugene)
Comments 'double_jeopardy'
Working on a fine point of Texas law
They're not there yet, but Great American Insurance Company has taken the position that it will only pay death benefits in fires to people who were actually roasted by flames. The company has an exclusion in its policy for death by "pollution," y'know, greenhouse gases, vinyl chloride and fertilizer runoff in water, things like that, and it says, well, smoke is air pollution, so no benefits for fire victims who merely asphyxiate. Houston Chronicle
Comments 'pollution_insurance'
Your Daily Loser
He tried to rob a San Antonio, Tex., fast food joint with a box cutter, but (1) got laughed at by the cashier, (2) told that if he needed money, he should go get a job, and (3) so as not to leave empty-handed, robbed a customer of his wallet, which turned out to have no money in it. He was arrested. Associated Press via New York Times
Comments 'robber_laughedat'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Robert Owens, 57, might be a pervert. Whaddya think? WEWS-TV (Cleveland)
Comments 'robert_owens'
More Things to Worry About on Thursday
Lame: He said he didn't put the plastic bag over the prostitute's head and choke her (to take back his $100) but that he was just holding it out, y'know, and, hey, she just walked head-first right into it. Australian Associated Press via Herald Sun (Melbourne)
Explanation needed: Lesbian high schoolers in Vancouver get pregnant at up to 7 times the rate of hetero girls (maybe closeted girls are trying harder to beat down their gayness?). Vancouver Sun
A 68-yr-old woman is no longer with us, probably because when stuck in her car on railroad tracks with a train bearing down, she chose to call 911 instead of . . getting out of the car! KNTV (San Francisco) via MSNBC
Recurring theme: It's a new frontier in animal-hoarding, by this German senior citizen, living in a two-room apartment with his 1,500-1,700 parakeets. Associated Press via San Francisco Chronicle
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Thursday?
Comments 'worry_081218'
Cutting-edge Middle Eastern technology: sexy Syrian lingerie
Bras and panties are available with tiny chips that play music, or light up, or glow in the dark, and there's a nasty version of The Clapper, where a loud noise close by causes the bra straps to release and fall off. And it's all kosher, so to speak, with Islam as long as the practitioners are married to each other. BBC News
Comments 'syrian_lingerie'
A fine point of Oregon law, in fact, a microscopically fine point
It's such a fine point, you won't be able to see it with the naked eye. Prosecutors charged a 17-yr-old boy for having sex with his 14-yr-old girlfriend, but the grand jury rejected it. Not to worry, though, because the prosecutor went ahead as if they had indicted. Then the grand jury foreman read about this in the newspaper and went public, causing the charges to be dropped . . and refiled as different charges . . which sounds like it's unconstitutional double jeopardy . . but the Oregon Supreme Court accepted the argument that since the original court never had jurisdiction over the case, it wasn't double jeopardy . . even though the reason there was no jurisdiction was that . . there was no legal indictment in the first place. Seriously. Register-Guard (Eugene)
Comments 'double_jeopardy'
Working on a fine point of Texas law
They're not there yet, but Great American Insurance Company has taken the position that it will only pay death benefits in fires to people who were actually roasted by flames. The company has an exclusion in its policy for death by "pollution," y'know, greenhouse gases, vinyl chloride and fertilizer runoff in water, things like that, and it says, well, smoke is air pollution, so no benefits for fire victims who merely asphyxiate. Houston Chronicle
Comments 'pollution_insurance'
Your Daily Loser
He tried to rob a San Antonio, Tex., fast food joint with a box cutter, but (1) got laughed at by the cashier, (2) told that if he needed money, he should go get a job, and (3) so as not to leave empty-handed, robbed a customer of his wallet, which turned out to have no money in it. He was arrested. Associated Press via New York Times
Comments 'robber_laughedat'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Robert Owens, 57, might be a pervert. Whaddya think? WEWS-TV (Cleveland)
Comments 'robert_owens'
More Things to Worry About on Thursday
Lame: He said he didn't put the plastic bag over the prostitute's head and choke her (to take back his $100) but that he was just holding it out, y'know, and, hey, she just walked head-first right into it. Australian Associated Press via Herald Sun (Melbourne)
Explanation needed: Lesbian high schoolers in Vancouver get pregnant at up to 7 times the rate of hetero girls (maybe closeted girls are trying harder to beat down their gayness?). Vancouver Sun
A 68-yr-old woman is no longer with us, probably because when stuck in her car on railroad tracks with a train bearing down, she chose to call 911 instead of . . getting out of the car! KNTV (San Francisco) via MSNBC
Recurring theme: It's a new frontier in animal-hoarding, by this German senior citizen, living in a two-room apartment with his 1,500-1,700 parakeets. Associated Press via San Francisco Chronicle
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Thursday?
Comments 'worry_081218'
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