The Underwear Measurer, the Right to Heroin
and the Morning Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Friday, December 12, 2008 [and no, not today, either, for the Afternoon Edition; it's been a rough week]
It's good to be a British prisoner: the human right to heroin/methadone
In Britain, if you're a murderer or a bank robber or whatever, and you're also addicted to heroin, your prison has to keep supplying you (for a while, anyway, at least according to one court). Forcing ya to go cold turkey is a "human rights violation." Daily Telegraph
Comments 'prisoner_heroin'
Fine points of the law: Ex-wife regarded as shacking-up with . . her prison cellmate
Andrew Craissati's divorce order required him to pay alimony, unless the ex- remarried or "cohabited" with another for more than three months. Then, the ex- got sent to prison on a DUI manslaughter conviction, and Andrew stopped paying, claiming that the ex- is now technically "cohabiting," with her cellmate, whoever that is. The trial court kicked Andrew out, but now a crack F State appeals court has ruled in his favor. Said the ex-'s attorney, understatedly, "It goes to show the most winnable case is losable and the most losable case is winnable." Palm Beach Post
Comments 'cohabiting_cellmates'
Updates
(1) Latest bright idea from Rev. Fred Phelps and the lesser Phelpses: They want to be part of the Nativity scene at the capitol in Olympia, Wash., with this ditty: *You'd better watch out, Get ready to cry, You'd better go hide, I'm tellin' you why, 'Cuz Santa Claus will take you . . to hell . . ..* (And the problems with the economy? Santa caused 'em.) (2) When this guy first appeared in News of the Weird [NOTW M047, 3-2-2008], it was for sympathy: an already-convicted sex offender who was falsely accused of kidnaping. But today he still has that 1994 sex conviction hanging over him, which means that there are certain places he cannot live, like near schools. This week, a committee of the city council of Sheboygan, Wis., approved his application to live in town, so he's OK . . Mr. Pheuk Kue can have another chance. The Olympian /// Sheboygan Press
Comments 'updates_081212'
Your Daily Loser
Keisha Kubala, 18, arrived in Gore District Court in New Zealand on a DUI charge, wearing a t-shirt reading "Miss Wasted." (The judge kindly allowed her to go home and change shirts before listening to her case.) The Southland Times (Invercargill, N.Z.)
Comments 'keisha_kubala'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Ben Hawkins came to our attention in July when he was arrested, but now that he pleaded guilty this week, there is more information on his m.o. He convinced a parent or two that he was a professional "underwear measurer" and that they should turn their kids (as young as 9) over to him in private while he made his "measurements" and notations. WLWT-TV (Cincinnati)
Comments 'ben_hawkins2'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Roger Arnold, 33, who was either (a) trying to flash the teenage girl behind the counter at a gas station or (b) having trouble with a pesky zipper in trousers that were too tight and trying as hard as he could to conceal any inappropriate view with a bag of pretzels. TCPalm.com (Stuart, Fla.)
Comments 'roger_arnold'
More Things to Worry About on Friday
You have to see this photo, of the 11-year-old Chinese boy accidentally shot in the eye with an arrow (but it missed his brain). The Sun (London)
The Crawford County (Iowa) Board of Supervisors has just approved another three-yr contract for its county engineer, whose name is Paul Assman. [Ed.: This news is about a week old, but I thought you'd like to know that, even though the law in every state makes changing your name pretty easy, there are still a few people, like this guy and the aforementioned Mr. Kue, who seem to be just born to suffer.] Bulletin Review (Denison, Iowa) [link from Fark.com]
And yet another top-of-the-line guy is accused of lucrative but tacky fraud (socialite money manager Bernard Madoff, of New York and Palm Beach, running what he allegedly admitted was a Ponzi scheme on some of the richest poo-poos in the country). Wall Street Journal
If you're ejected from a restaurant for being stinkin' drunk, and accidentally kill yourself joyously sliding down a bannister on your way out the door, it can mean only one thing: a lawsuit by your family against the restaurant. WHIO-TV (Dayton)
Today's Newsrangers: Sandy Pearlman, Paul Music, Ron Crumpton, Joe Schlegel
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Friday?
Comments 'worry_081212'
It's good to be a British prisoner: the human right to heroin/methadone
In Britain, if you're a murderer or a bank robber or whatever, and you're also addicted to heroin, your prison has to keep supplying you (for a while, anyway, at least according to one court). Forcing ya to go cold turkey is a "human rights violation." Daily Telegraph
Comments 'prisoner_heroin'
Fine points of the law: Ex-wife regarded as shacking-up with . . her prison cellmate
Andrew Craissati's divorce order required him to pay alimony, unless the ex- remarried or "cohabited" with another for more than three months. Then, the ex- got sent to prison on a DUI manslaughter conviction, and Andrew stopped paying, claiming that the ex- is now technically "cohabiting," with her cellmate, whoever that is. The trial court kicked Andrew out, but now a crack F State appeals court has ruled in his favor. Said the ex-'s attorney, understatedly, "It goes to show the most winnable case is losable and the most losable case is winnable." Palm Beach Post
Comments 'cohabiting_cellmates'
Updates
(1) Latest bright idea from Rev. Fred Phelps and the lesser Phelpses: They want to be part of the Nativity scene at the capitol in Olympia, Wash., with this ditty: *You'd better watch out, Get ready to cry, You'd better go hide, I'm tellin' you why, 'Cuz Santa Claus will take you . . to hell . . ..* (And the problems with the economy? Santa caused 'em.) (2) When this guy first appeared in News of the Weird [NOTW M047, 3-2-2008], it was for sympathy: an already-convicted sex offender who was falsely accused of kidnaping. But today he still has that 1994 sex conviction hanging over him, which means that there are certain places he cannot live, like near schools. This week, a committee of the city council of Sheboygan, Wis., approved his application to live in town, so he's OK . . Mr. Pheuk Kue can have another chance. The Olympian /// Sheboygan Press
Comments 'updates_081212'
Your Daily Loser
Keisha Kubala, 18, arrived in Gore District Court in New Zealand on a DUI charge, wearing a t-shirt reading "Miss Wasted." (The judge kindly allowed her to go home and change shirts before listening to her case.) The Southland Times (Invercargill, N.Z.)
Comments 'keisha_kubala'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Ben Hawkins came to our attention in July when he was arrested, but now that he pleaded guilty this week, there is more information on his m.o. He convinced a parent or two that he was a professional "underwear measurer" and that they should turn their kids (as young as 9) over to him in private while he made his "measurements" and notations. WLWT-TV (Cincinnati)
Comments 'ben_hawkins2'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Roger Arnold, 33, who was either (a) trying to flash the teenage girl behind the counter at a gas station or (b) having trouble with a pesky zipper in trousers that were too tight and trying as hard as he could to conceal any inappropriate view with a bag of pretzels. TCPalm.com (Stuart, Fla.)
Comments 'roger_arnold'
More Things to Worry About on Friday
You have to see this photo, of the 11-year-old Chinese boy accidentally shot in the eye with an arrow (but it missed his brain). The Sun (London)
The Crawford County (Iowa) Board of Supervisors has just approved another three-yr contract for its county engineer, whose name is Paul Assman. [Ed.: This news is about a week old, but I thought you'd like to know that, even though the law in every state makes changing your name pretty easy, there are still a few people, like this guy and the aforementioned Mr. Kue, who seem to be just born to suffer.] Bulletin Review (Denison, Iowa) [link from Fark.com]
And yet another top-of-the-line guy is accused of lucrative but tacky fraud (socialite money manager Bernard Madoff, of New York and Palm Beach, running what he allegedly admitted was a Ponzi scheme on some of the richest poo-poos in the country). Wall Street Journal
If you're ejected from a restaurant for being stinkin' drunk, and accidentally kill yourself joyously sliding down a bannister on your way out the door, it can mean only one thing: a lawsuit by your family against the restaurant. WHIO-TV (Dayton)
Today's Newsrangers: Sandy Pearlman, Paul Music, Ron Crumpton, Joe Schlegel
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Friday?
Comments 'worry_081212'
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