Two Defiant Ladies Plus Two Hardened Perverts
and the Morning Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Monday
Two proud seniors, speaking sass to power
Edna Jester, 89, confiscated a kid's football that came into her yard, and she's absolutely not giving it back just yet, even though police asked nicely. And another lady of almost that certain age said she's ready for jail rather than pay to convert one of her bedrooms back to a garage (to comply with zoning laws that were broken by the previous owner 30 yrs ago). (Uh, Question: The zoning enforcement people say they can't let her slide because, after all, this is a "safety" issue, but isn't 30 yrs enough time to judge whether something really is unsafe?) WEWS-TV (Cleveland) /// Los Angeles Times
Comments 'two_seniors'
A pervert with a pick-up technique that even perverts are embarrassed about
A woman went to interview for a $15k job in Morgantown, W.Va., feeling kinda relaxed because the interviewer used to be a neighbor of hers. At the end of the session, he offered the job but provided that she show him her [Carlin's No. 7]. Shocked, she heads for the door. He begs. Come on, it's $300 a week, and all I want is a glimpse! No? OK, before you go, could I at least touch one of 'em? Her disgust mounts. Finally, he sees the light, apologizes profusely, says he didn't know what came over him, and offers her the job with no strings and no on-the-job association with him. She relents. As she's filling out the paperwork, she notices that he's standing there with his junk out, taking care of himself. West Virginia Record
Comments 'pervert_technique'
Your Daily Loser
He's apparently got some experience in crime, but still, he's only 15, so he might not have realized that one thing you can't do with a stolen credit card is buy NFL tickets and then actually sit in those seats during the game. Times-Picayune
Comments 'nfl_tickets'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Larry Williamson, 55, pants down, wanking in a public park in Indiana, and . . with a "metal rod" sticking out of his stuff. WEMT-TV (Evansville)
Comments 'larry_williamson'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Gregory Griggs, 19, possibly involved in marijuana trafficking (and when judging his guilt or innocence, be sure to ignore his shirt). Kentucky Enquirer
Comments 'gregory_griggs'
More Things to Worry About on Monday
Recession? Sony is apparently willing to back taking Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? to, er, Afghanistan TV (although a million Afghani doohickies is only $21k) (But if you're Afghani, $21k damn well feels like a million.) Reuters via Yahoo
Tom Owen ("The Human Speed Bump") was hospitalized trying to break the Guinness Book record for number of cars to run over him in succession (eight). Mission accomplished, basically. (Bonus: Career-wise, he has over 1,000 notches.) Arizona Republic
In Nigeria, a father turned in his 20-yr-old son to police, for the boy's amotivational behavior (i.e., he's a lazy bum), and a court immediately dished out 30 lashes. Reuters via Yahoo
Speed-grieving at an Australian rugby match: Player drops dead on the field, of a heart attack. Moment of silence. Play ball!. Courier-Mail (Brisbane)
"We told you math was something you could actually use in life," might be what the 375 Texas schoolteachers who were laid off last week have been telling their kids, because the reason they had to go was that the Dallas school district "massive[ly]" miscalculated the budget. CNN
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Monday?
Comments 'worry_081020'
Two proud seniors, speaking sass to power
Edna Jester, 89, confiscated a kid's football that came into her yard, and she's absolutely not giving it back just yet, even though police asked nicely. And another lady of almost that certain age said she's ready for jail rather than pay to convert one of her bedrooms back to a garage (to comply with zoning laws that were broken by the previous owner 30 yrs ago). (Uh, Question: The zoning enforcement people say they can't let her slide because, after all, this is a "safety" issue, but isn't 30 yrs enough time to judge whether something really is unsafe?) WEWS-TV (Cleveland) /// Los Angeles Times
Comments 'two_seniors'
A pervert with a pick-up technique that even perverts are embarrassed about
A woman went to interview for a $15k job in Morgantown, W.Va., feeling kinda relaxed because the interviewer used to be a neighbor of hers. At the end of the session, he offered the job but provided that she show him her [Carlin's No. 7]. Shocked, she heads for the door. He begs. Come on, it's $300 a week, and all I want is a glimpse! No? OK, before you go, could I at least touch one of 'em? Her disgust mounts. Finally, he sees the light, apologizes profusely, says he didn't know what came over him, and offers her the job with no strings and no on-the-job association with him. She relents. As she's filling out the paperwork, she notices that he's standing there with his junk out, taking care of himself. West Virginia Record
Comments 'pervert_technique'
Your Daily Loser
He's apparently got some experience in crime, but still, he's only 15, so he might not have realized that one thing you can't do with a stolen credit card is buy NFL tickets and then actually sit in those seats during the game. Times-Picayune
Comments 'nfl_tickets'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Larry Williamson, 55, pants down, wanking in a public park in Indiana, and . . with a "metal rod" sticking out of his stuff. WEMT-TV (Evansville)
Comments 'larry_williamson'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Gregory Griggs, 19, possibly involved in marijuana trafficking (and when judging his guilt or innocence, be sure to ignore his shirt). Kentucky Enquirer
Comments 'gregory_griggs'
More Things to Worry About on Monday
Recession? Sony is apparently willing to back taking Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? to, er, Afghanistan TV (although a million Afghani doohickies is only $21k) (But if you're Afghani, $21k damn well feels like a million.) Reuters via Yahoo
Tom Owen ("The Human Speed Bump") was hospitalized trying to break the Guinness Book record for number of cars to run over him in succession (eight). Mission accomplished, basically. (Bonus: Career-wise, he has over 1,000 notches.) Arizona Republic
In Nigeria, a father turned in his 20-yr-old son to police, for the boy's amotivational behavior (i.e., he's a lazy bum), and a court immediately dished out 30 lashes. Reuters via Yahoo
Speed-grieving at an Australian rugby match: Player drops dead on the field, of a heart attack. Moment of silence. Play ball!. Courier-Mail (Brisbane)
"We told you math was something you could actually use in life," might be what the 375 Texas schoolteachers who were laid off last week have been telling their kids, because the reason they had to go was that the Dallas school district "massive[ly]" miscalculated the budget. CNN
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Monday?
Comments 'worry_081020'
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