Things to Worry About
Troy Brisport, 34, was charged with kidnaping and restraining a 22-yr-old woman for three days, but the only assaulting he did during that time was
bombarding her with Bible verses.
Toledo Blade
Can't stop himself: Arrested last year for doing immunizations, mammograms, and colonoscopies without a license, "Dr." Jack Readnour got out on bail, but now
he's opened another "clinic" at the Holiday Inn Express (and it's an extra $10 if he provides transportation).
WLWT-TV (Cincinnati)
A city council meeting in Sarasota, Fla., was the scene that Mr. Steve Lightfoot chose for releasing his bombshell information that John Lennon was actually murdered by, um,
eerie-ol' Stephen King (who has a home near Sarasota), and not Mark David Chapman.
WWSB-TV
Castle Hills, Tex. (near San Antonio) has just instituted a
$55 fee for responding to 911 medical emergencies (but your first call a year is free!).
KENS-TV (San Antonio)
Another day,
another ridiculous wedding in India (boy, age 1½, to a dog, to keep kid from being eaten by a tiger because that's what happens to toddlers with out-of-place teeth coming in).
Agence France-Presse via Yahoo
Readers' Choice:
Man in China has wife and 5 squeezes. Economy sours. Needs to pink-slip 4 squeezes. Holds a contest (with independent judge). The 5 don't know what contest is for. Categories: beauty, talent, alcohol capacity. First-one-cut gets word, sets up the man and other 4 squeezes, driving everyone off a cliff. She dies, others merely injured. Plan exposed. Everyone dumps man (including wife).
Ta-daaaa! CNN
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